Migena

I was 13-14 years old when my family began to pray secretly and attend the first, still illegal, mass in the autumn of 1990 onwards. When Albania officially allowed once again freedom of worship of religion, I became a very devoted, active Catholic, but at the same time, I believe I really had a heart desire to know the Lord. In November 1996 I began to study at the University at Shkoder, and I came into contact with some evangelical Christians, who became my friends. They spoke to me about true faith in the Lord and about how I needed Him as my Saviour. I was very assured and strong  in my Catholic faith, but this assurance was not built on any strong foundation. I thought that my prayers, fasting, and keeping the Catholic traditions made me right with the Lord. My worship was spread between, the Lord, the Virgin Mary, the holy saints, the Pope and the Catholic Church.
For 2 whole years, these friends of mine spoke to me continually with arguments from the bible, but I was very stubborn and a fanatic of the Catholic faith. However, I was unable to stay indifferent to what I had heard. The Lord was very important to me and I wanted to have a true relationship with Him. In May 1998 I prayed and made a decision – I was not going to listen to any one else’s ideas or words, I wanted the Lord alone to convince me through His own Word. I would read my bible with an open heart. Today I can confess that the Lord makes Himself known to those that truly seek Him.

(“Who then is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.” Ps 25:12, “The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” Ps 145:18)

Within a year of reading the bible, I had gained an understanding as to who is the Lord, and I accepted that I was a sinner and confessed my sins to Him, especially the great sin of placing my faith in the traditions and prayers that I once made in order to be right with Him. I understood that it was only the Jesus who died on the cross that was my Saviour and that my new life came only from the risen Lord. To be a Christian in Albania is not easy. The power of Him who emptied the grave, gave me the strength to proclaim my faith. Up until that point, I had always been an obedient girl towards my family, especially in any important decisions. I knew that my family would not accept my new faith in Christ. I knew that they would consider me a traitor and would persecute me. I truly expected the very worst things to happen to me, but God was now my Lord, and Lord of ALL my life. Because my family were fanatic Catholics, they were NOT happy with my news. My big brother was especially upset. In Albania, the oldest son has as much authority in the family as the father, and he really was very angry, even though he was an atheist. To him, I had insulted his pride, as up till then I had spoken to him prior to every major decision I made, however, for this I had not spoken to him, and he also suffered from the opinion of friends and neighbours that would speak about me, and this in turn would bring shame on him. For 6 years, he spoke strong language, insinuations, and insults that really hurt me. He was always hostile to me, and put me through emotional and physical violence, with a desire to destroy my faith, or to make me suffer so much that I would give up my Lord. To a different degree, my parents joined him in this behaviour, and also my 3 sisters. The only support in my family came from another brother who is 7 years older than me, and he stood up for me stating that I had the right to make my own decisions. I suffered much from what happened, but I was quite calm. In my heart I had a joy that I knew they could never touch, nor change. I had a reason why I could stand strong against each attack. I had the Lord’s salvation which made me feel that I was “untouchable” from their attacks. Nothing that happened came as a shock or surprise to me. My Saviour had warned me of what would happen. I did not feel I had been lied to. I was suffering for what was an honour to me, and I was suffering for trusting my life to my Creator. Nothing was happening as a surprise. I had peace my Saviour’s peace.

(“ I have told you these things , so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” John 16:33)

All this time, I was not able to do what I wanted. I could not attend freely the meetings in the church, nor invite friends to my house, nor speak to them on the telephone, but at these times, the Word of the Lord was my bread and wine – my food and my source of daily joy! It was in the Word that I found a meaning for what was happening, my worth before the Lord, and His comfort, love and faithfulness. Every day I surrendered my life to Him and to His sovereign will, even though this situation went on year after year. Many things scared me, but my greatest fear was that in any of these situations I may behave in a way that did not honour my Lord. I had little to cheer me, but His Word became my song

( “Your decrees are the theme of my song, wherever I lodge” Ps. 119: 54)

I learned to surrender myself totally to Him, and to trust him fully, even when there appeared to be no solution to the problems, and to joy in the One who is righteous and worthy to be enjoyed – my Creator and Saviour and Lord.

( “ It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn Your decrees” Ps 119:71, “ If Your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.” Ps 119:92)

My prayer was “Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.” Ps. 86:11b. To be single in Albania is considered a “curse” and I was nearly 29 years old and still single. To marry for me, was both a physical need and a spiritual need, as well as being a ‘salvation” for me. I knew the Lord wanted me to marry a believer, but even so there appeared to be no sign that there was someone for me. To wait for God’s timing you really do need a lot of faith! You need to trust Him that He will take care of you, even if you never marry! In my diary for 31 January 2003 I wrote, “One thing I am certain of for the future, I will never lack your faithful love and Your care for me, full of grace and mercy. One thing I want to do from now on, and that is to spend my time in seeking and doing Your will, finding peace and joy and enjoying and honouring You.” I always reminded myself that God is my Father, full of power, authority, love and care for me. In my diary for 19 November 2003 I wrote, “Nothing greater, stronger, more joy-giving  can ever happen in my life more than what I have already found; I am redeemed from my sins, I have peace with God, I am adopted by the Almighty One. What else could give me this kind of  joy today?”
In January of 2006, a Christian brother realized that it was God’s will that we should be together and in August 2006 we were married. Apart from my personal joy about this, it was also a tremendous testimony of God’s faithfulness and care before my family and friends. I know that the trials of faith are not passed. Every day I meet new trials. I will suffer for my faith in different ways, but nothing and no-one has anything to make me turn my back on my Saviour. I will never really suffer if I remember who He is!
I thank the Lord for His Word, for everything He has taught and revealed to me.

“I thank you that you have made me experience these things so that I can now understand to be filled and satisfied in You – and only in You! Thank you, O Lord, that You have taught me the road of obedience - keeping my eyes fixed on You.
Thank you, O Father for all this praise that is deep within me, overflowing in my heart, and which forces me to declare to others what great things the Lord has done for me. In this way, I find meaning for all I have gone through."

The Lord is near and blesses those that love His name!